BEING THE NEW GIRL...

One of the trickiest things for me is finding myself in situations where I'm the ‘new girl’. It could be an event or within a new circle, I find the first few moments hard and sometimes tiring. Not that I have an alter-ego or anything like that, but I end up negotiating with myself about which personality trait to bring across. It's always a question of which part of myself would I like to show off and how do I want to be known, provided that these are qualities I can control. You might read this and think to yourself that this is an easy task if one is always themselves and you're right, but ‘myself’ is made up of a lot of things like character, personality, habits and mannerisms. So I always have to decide which part I am showing off that day. 

For example, I went to some braai with a friend, I was fairly new and she was the only person I knew there. From the discussion to participate in, to the jokes I chose not to be offended by and yes, to the 3^rd serving of dessert I had to decline; I had to think about all of them. Bearing in mind that I shouldn't, in any way, put my friend in any awkward situations. I mean, I don’t want to be remembered as that girl who was stuck-up and callous.

The evening started off well as I found it easy to connect to most of her friends quite well. The conversation was smooth and endearing and everyone had very idiosyncratic views. Being the ‘new girl’ in a group of people who have already established some sort of camaraderie comes with eyes that question nothing but ask everything. I always dread these setups because I sometimes find it intimidating to be the center of attention.  ‘What do you do for a living?’ and ‘how do you spend most of your time?’ are some of the questions that make the rounds and are coupled with much attentiveness. 

The new girl syndrome is one I never get used to because I'm always around people I know and I'm comfortable with. For an outspoken person, I have to take cognisance of how much I let out and which I decide to keep, a huge task if you ask me.

One of the things that bore me is how narcissistic people can get. It's an opportunity for them to shine and tell the whole world their best sides. Don’t get me wrong, I know that no one can consciously express their not-so-good side but my goodness; others don’t let the opportunity to let us know how they are the best thing to happen to the world since ice-cream, pass.  Although I don’t like being new, I love how it's an opportunity for me to know great people and engage in very interesting conversations.  The perks of being new is that I get to tell people about my latest habits, even those I've yet to do and I don’t have to feel like I'm lying, because well...I’m dreaming aloud. However, I'm glad I get to experience being the new girl because if not, there wouldn’t be any post to blog.

Please don’t take this as a decline to your future invites. I promise you I'm so cool, you’d mistaken me for the other side of the pillow; that is when I'm not being my usual over-thinking self.