DEAR BLACK MEN..."BE REAL BLACK FOR ME"

A conversation with Boitumelo, about me and my encounters with men, somehow led her into asking me if I would date any guy who’s from the rest of the continent. I firmly said yes. My agreement to this is based on having seen how they pride themselves in their race and they have a spirit of non-compromise about them. This led me to writing a letter to my black brother, to express how I love and appreciate them.

DEAR BLACK MAN...” BE REAL BLACK FOR ME”

It’s in the way you wear your blackness with pride. How your confidence is seen in the way you walk and how the security of your voice has undeniable textures within itself. The shade of your skin brings a rich colour into my white, cold walls. I love your authenticity and how vested you are in your culture. Wena Mongwatse, Kgabo, Mkhize Khabazela, Mntungwa nawe manzini. I Love you because you're too much of a man. I love that sometimes your expression of love is like hieroglyphics to me, because it's in what you do and how you act that I'm secured. You're my kind of superman; even without the ‘S’ you're still the best, never late to rescue me from the pains I find myself in. Ke tlala ka wena. I love how you find satisfaction in putting my needs first, that your greatest fulfilment is in seeing the ones you love with a smile on their faces. You're my kind of black, which comes in many different shades, sometimes brown, sometimes hazelnut. I love how your pride never gets in the way of you trusting me with your weaknesses, that some of your worst turns are shared with me. I love that you're real black for me.

I want to assure you that I will also be real black for you. Even though I sometimes wear hair that has been imported from Brazil, how I use makeup from America to conceal my brownness. How I have managed to master the language that held our forefathers bondage and has become universal, but in my Universe, my love for you trends. Even when I still insist on a ‘white’ wedding and an engagement ring, which was once just a marketing campaign to seal your love for me, I will be real black for you.

I want to be there beside you when you're old. To wake up to your grey hair that will remind me how a winter morning looks like. When the wrinkles in your face will represent the contours of the African roads you have travelled. The hardness of your hands will serve as a reminder of the relentless work you've put into providing for your family. The balding of your head will represent the wisdom you've amassed and continue to pass onto generations. I love that you’ll always be real black for me.

Dear black men... I love you.