It
is morning and I just woke up. I am confronted with the reality that I don’t
have a job and I need one...soon. My lazy self wants to contend this and come up
with suitable alternatives, so I think to myself...life would be so much better
if I were to date a rich guy, you know. He would handle my lifestyle, and he would fund my ambitions of also making it. So NO, I dont want this sought-after 'accesory' just so he can take me around the world and buy me expensive brands.
Plus,I would make him happy (my thoughts didn’t reach that further as to how I would make him happy), notwithstanding that we would be in love. That train of thought was quickly hijacked by a possibility of this alternative of mine not working out. It seems to me that, only in the black community, is it socially unacceptable to even desire dating a rich man, let alone marry him. One cannot wish for this without being deemed a gold digger, but this amazes me because no one has an ambition of settling with a poor guy. According to society, or the little world that I have been exposed to, a rich man is put into a certain stereotype that leaves much to be desired; both his shrewd, crude and controlling behaviour is put in the forefront in the expectation of making one forget about dating him.
Plus,I would make him happy (my thoughts didn’t reach that further as to how I would make him happy), notwithstanding that we would be in love. That train of thought was quickly hijacked by a possibility of this alternative of mine not working out. It seems to me that, only in the black community, is it socially unacceptable to even desire dating a rich man, let alone marry him. One cannot wish for this without being deemed a gold digger, but this amazes me because no one has an ambition of settling with a poor guy. According to society, or the little world that I have been exposed to, a rich man is put into a certain stereotype that leaves much to be desired; both his shrewd, crude and controlling behaviour is put in the forefront in the expectation of making one forget about dating him.
This
movement of stopping the wish to go for rich men might also have do with the
lessons that have been instilled among young, black women; that we need to get
our own and throughout our lives, we’re taught to be independent; much to do
with absent fathers. ‘If you want a lifestyle, fund it’. Could it also be that,
back in the day, there weren’t a lot, if any, rich black men, so women might
have had to settle for anything and we end up using love to glorify poverty, I
guess. I might not be sure about a lot of things, but this one I know for sure,
no one wants to settle with a poor person. But then again, one cannot make a
standard out of someone’s financial standing, right?
Unfortunately, I
do not have reference to white practices and laws, but this seems to be a
phenomenon among black societies only because I hear white guys give out
girlfriend allowances (for the purpose of research, I will take it upon myself
to date a white man and see if this true. Like I said, it’s only for research). The pursuit to be different and break the
status quo is confronted with being considered rebellious and deviant, so it is
only for the brave.
Another thought that comes to mind, do these rich men normally go for ordinary,
middleclass women? Or this is where love comes in? I mean, it’s not like it is
only blondes or bimbos that want to marry rich. Some will not admit, but even
secure, making-it women wouldn’t mind a man that is above average. I will enlarge
my knowledge on this thought; maybe I would also need to do my own research
regarding it. In the mean time, I’ll continue hopping on websites and buying
workplace, in search for a job.
in my opinion, dating a rich guy can be equated to having wealthy parents. Why should a kid have a hard time trying to fund their interests and passions and also even the business ideas when they have parents who can afford to help them? I hear u Lee, we're not tryin to get "sugar daddies" we're jus sayin that a rich man would help us finance our aspirations to also make it.
ReplyDeletePeople always tend to look at it in a negative light, thing is, if I happen to fall for a guy and he has money and wants to spoil me, and invest in my aspirations because he can see I am going somewhere in life then I will take it gladly. People always say there is nothing wrong with asking for help! I concur, and more importantly, there is nothing wrong with accepting that help.
ReplyDeleteHmMm.. Standards that's all it is.. PERSONAL standards..
ReplyDeleteI think dating a rich black man comes with its own problems.. But every relationship has those.. Uhm.. Lots of truths here... Thanku Rato :)
Hi my name is Nomakhosi Victoria Mabaso < and I am gonna Marry a rich man , thats my standard. like some men look at Boobs Glutt Muscle, and Curve even IQ levels mine is Rich. I like Money and Know how to use it and well not ashamed to say it ngoba its essential to living . simple as that oh BTW I do make my own money but even withouth it I want one a Rich Man that is.
ReplyDelete*clears her throat* Eish where do I begin in terms of commenting on this Eish yah neh. Lerato I hear you hey and I will think about the English and comment appropriately but for now I love this piece especially the genuineness behind it. No female wants to marry a poor man, no female wants to work hard to keep a home maintained, no one finds struggling and poverty appealing but so many people are afraid to say out aloud that the want to marry a rich man. Prejudice, Stereotyping, labeling, our culture, false humility and the fear of not getting what we want and desire prevents many people from even being vocal about the genuine desires that they have in their hearts. Who lied to us and told us that true love is found in poverty and that the one you didn't struggle with won't love you just as much???
ReplyDeleteViva rona the rich guys Viva.....
ReplyDeleteHi Lerato,
ReplyDeleteI have dated a rich man and trust me when i say it was not for the wrong reasons. I will not explain why we called off the relationship but i tell you, he did not even know the colour of my wallet. I knew what its like to have flowers delivered at in my Soweto home. I am a lover of food, so we would try out new restaurants (not take out places) every week.
My phone had airtime, yet whenever i called him, he always asked me to hang up and he will call me back. I never quite used public transport as i was driven everywhere or he would ask one of his friends to pick me up.
Not only was i spoiled but he would challenge me. He supported me and my dreams. He knew my passions and what moved me and he would support me. He was rich because he worked hard, and would never allow me just to get comfortable, rely on him for my allowance and not work( yes i was given a monthly allowance).
I broke up with him yet it was hard to date a guy who cant even afford to buy me Mc-Donald's, or a guy who believes in 50/50. I am old school like that, i dont believe in 50/50 and never will, yet that dont mean that a woman must not take care of themselves and rely on a man but i am not going to be in a relationship and still it feels as if i am single.
Another question would be...Are my age group guys rich?or are we all still hustling together hence the need for 50/50?I dont know of a 25 year old being a director of a global company!Let me just say i like my men matured. ;-)
WOW at the last anonymous!
ReplyDeleteWell, firstly i would like to thank you ladies for supporting this movement and not being shy about it. you're one of the very few ones,Lol. and the rich gentleman over there, choose wisely *hint* haha*
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comments all...much appreciated.
Sooo I like white guys or more like they like me *bbmhides. Finally commenting on this topic tried hard not too but reality check. my preference(white) neh, is it really cos they're white or cud it be wealthiness? perhaps but they sure know how to be selfless, gentle, providing & make one feel like a queen waya waya. As a strong character "I am an ambitious lady" honestly i don't see why my partner wud have to be below my standards of the quality of life...He has to work harder cos truly I'd like to chill at some point especially pregnancy & infancy stage of potential kids. so around my age group perhaps there is not much potential as yet but where Mr is at today surely can predict where he is going tommorrow and I don't mind going with him lol as in EXAMPLE: if he has a company & it's in it's growing phase, or is investing in shares(Long Term Mentality) etc e.g. I'm willing to support his growth/vision so we can be wealthy ofcos. but definitely there must be some action of establishment yoh! Thanks Rato authentic Note!!!
ReplyDeleteI know a few ladies who married very well without a great education. Job. Family backgroung etc. If a man wants to be with you he will pursue. Rich men, just like any other man want some good loving! No fault in wanting to date a rich guy, by all means do it!! Do you! #ThatsAll
ReplyDeleteLove your honesty.
ReplyDeleteMy boyfriend and I are not rich as yet.
But hey, I'm the happiest woman. With a little that he has he treats me like royalty and we dearly love each other...
And by the way, we're working on our WEALTH together... Soon, we'll be rich :-)
In an ideal world we all want to be born in a rich family, marry a rich man, and give birth to children who'll have the best of everything...
But no two stories are ever the same...
Some will be blessed with readily rich men, and praise God for that and others, will have to work towards the rich life together...
Like anonymous said, Do you! #ThatsAll
Love the comments and I know there's nothing too hard for God, may God grant the desire of your hearts ladies...
I like your question, "...do these rich men go for ordinary women?" I don't even know what "ordinary woman" means. Anyway, ladies, if you gon meet a rich guys, you have to be in dey territory (social environment). maybe a houseparty in high society(do u have an invite?), a club or show with a R250 cover charge at the door(can u afford to blow R250?), or maybe a dinner function for some charity (again, u need an invite so u guys can be at the same place at the same time). I know der r plenty rich guys dat come to d "ordinary woman" territory and party like crazy. I guess dats an opportunity to meet him but trust me ladies, on that day, he's not there looking for a wife or even girlfriend. He's looking for a "trophy." Something pretty and fun for the night, or wknd. Like a lawyer who sleeps with paralegals but marries a lawyer. Rich marries rich! Very seldom do you see the cindarella story even though it does happen. Here's a tip ladies, if u gon catch u a rich guy, u have to catch him in his territory for him to even consider the possibility of u bein a girlfriend instead of a trophy.
ReplyDeleteBe careful now ... you sound like a gold digger.
ReplyDeleteyou must make and have your own money.
Dear Anon. Thanks for the Tips. Yes! No one wants to be a trophy,well,no one I know of. Thanks for the comment.
ReplyDelete@Pako: Gold digger huh?? Well,its not gold digging if its coal *Drops mic and walks away*
I hope rich is one of the many traits a lady would want in a guy, moreover rich is not the colour of your skin; the status can change overnight. Don't marry lower than yourself but please don't enslave yourself.
ReplyDelete@ Lerato Musi..I btake my hat off to you for such blodness. :)
ReplyDeleteMy mother ,single parent and has two kids,she encourages me to work hard and pursue my dreams and to also become an independant woman.One other thing she does is to constantly remind me that I BETTER NOT marry who will 'decrease' my standard of living.Its either he maintains it or he does even more than that.(Lord,may he please be able to do more-Amen) When often asked about the type of man I want to marry,I shy away from mentioning that he should be rich.i always mention other things but that.Like you say,no one desires to marry a poor man.Le gale,the man is supposed to be the head of the house so how is he going to do that in all areas if he is poor.And then we should also think about men who end up feeling bad if the woman makes more money than him.
Nna bathong,Im sorry but you can call it gold digging if you want but I want to marry a person who is financially stable.Like Ms Ruthym said,come nako ya bana and starting a family,I want to relax.I will work hard and earn my own but hubby needs to be making money too..Okay nuff said.
MJ...Smiley :)
If the world of woman shares the same sentiments, I guess i'm on my own...
ReplyDelete